THE PERFECT ALTERNATIVE

On the left a photo of a ripened russet potato under which it reads, the potato. On the right a single serving of fries pictured neatly in a bright red container embossed with a pair of golden arches. Below that, the word, perfected. 

If ya haven’t yet guessed it’s an advertisement for McDonald’s. In this particular case a roadside billboard strategically placed just a few hundred yards from one of the chains more than 30,000 fast food restaurants worldwide. And while it failed to leave me salivating for a No.2 Extra Value Meal, it did get me to thinkin.  

Like you I’ve probably polished off a small truckload of Mickey D fries over my lifetime, and yea they’re pretty darn tasty, but perfect? Eh. In fact, I’d venture to say that to an ardent potato farmer the global food service retail giant has got its potato protocol bass ackwards, and that in his eyes, a perfect potato is one that remains rustic and raw rather than processed and packaged.

Then again, a basket of In N Out’s famous animal fries might sound like the perfect late night carbohydrate to a pack of hungry thrash metal heads on the heels of an Anthrax reunion concert. For my wife it’s a cleanly scrubbed spud lightly basted in olive oil baked at 450° for forty-five minutes and then generously smothered in all the fixins. Personally, I fancy mashed, by hand, the way Mom used to make em. And of course let’s not forget those spirited souls out there who I’m sure would defiantly contend that potato perfection simply cannot exist without the laboratory aid of a fully functional distiller. 

My point: Perfection is personal. It’s highly subjective and therefore strangely and uniquely different for each and every one of us. I mean let’s say you and I did happen to agree that Mickey D dishes up the perfect serving of potato paradise, chances are we’d still squabble over whether it’s an extra pinch of salt or a heavy-duty dousing of ketchup that makes em…well, even more perfect. See what I mean? Wait a minute. More perfect? That can’t be…

Or can it?

In just a few short weeks the 2012 Summer Olympic Games will get under way in London, England. Athletes from around the globe will gather to compete in their respective events. The common goal: to bring home the gold. For some that means layin down the fastest lap. For others it’s lifting the greatest amount of weight. And still for others it’s all about that, “perfect 10.” Unless of course you’re a gymnast, because last I heard the longstanding international symbol of excellence had been officially retired from gymnastics in exchange for an entirely new scoring system, one that, if I’m not mistaken, resets the bar somewhere around 16 or 17.

Confused? I’ll say.

I mean when’s the last time you heard someone utter, “On a scale from one to 17”? It’s 10. It’s always been 10. Whether you’re judging an Olympic event or a drunken backyard belly flop contest, 10 is top dog, the cream of the crop; the “pinnacle of perfection.” It’s the best of the best, and you simply can’t do or get any better than that.

Or can you?

Snapple, makers of quality teas and fruit drinks, has long touted their products as being, “Made from the best stuff on earth,” and yet in a recent TV add they announced that, “The best stuff just got better.” Well I’ll be, I guess the best can be better. I guess maybe there really is no such thing as perfection. Damn, now they tell me.  

Actually, to be “perfectly” honest, I’ve been acutely aware of this bit of gospel truth for quite some time. You see, as an aspiring perfectionist myself (keyword aspiring) I’ve spent most of my adult life struggling with this anal addiction, and while I’ve ultimately caved into the idea that there’s no such thing as utter perfection (subjective or otherwise) I continue to harbor an uncontrollable urge to ignore the obvious, and with nominal success I might add. Why? Because as any true-blue perfectionist will tell ya there’s always (keyword always) room for improvement, and nowhere (keyword nowhere) have I found this to be more so than on the long arduous journey toward self-improvement, a journey on which I personally have made many a mistake. A journey that over the years has kicked my ass, drowned my spirit, and put my head into a tailspin more times than I can count. Yet one that’s also taught me an invaluable lesson or two along the way, such as, sometimes (keyword sometimes), rather than, “goin for the gold” if you will, get out there and do some good. In other words, instead of constantly chasing perfection or making the goal to be the best you can be, just make it a point to go out there and have a good day.

Now now, hold on my fiery-eyed Perfecticon, before you start hurling evil cyber missiles my way let me explain. First of all, when I say, “rather than ‘goin for the gold,’” I mean it purely as a metaphor. Believe me, I appreciate mammoth ambition and the insane kinda commitment that goes along with it as much as the next guy. And regardless whether or not it’s achievable, perfection remains at the top of my list of honorable virtues. But the truth is a little good goes a long way, and for many of us it just might be that perfect little something that gets us through yet another far from perfect day.

And secondly, when I say, “Have a good day,” I’m not referring to some, “Starbucks just added a brand new flavor of Frappuccino to their menu,” sorta good. I’m not talkin some superficial candy-coated, “Have a good day Honey,” kinda day. I’m talkin about a good f**kin day, one that turns an otherwise average day (the most common among us 9 to 5er’s) into an above average day; one that on a scale from 1 to (hell feel free to insert any number you like here) ranks right up there with the best of em. Not perfect, not the best ever, but good. G.O.O.D. Good.

Still not buyin it, still on the edge of your chair in all out attack mode ready to fire off a blistering round of virtual nasty bombs? Well then think about this: When’s the last time you had a perfect day? When’s the last time you had a great day, a glorious day, a fantastic, awesome, or outta this world day? Well, as much as I hate to say it, “I thought so,” and that my stickler friend is what’s so cool about a “good” day. Unlike its killer counterparts you can have one damn near everyday. 

But hey, don’t let the notion of mediocrity fool ya, just because a good day can land at your feet at any given moment doesn’t mean it’s just gonna drop in uninvited. You’ve gotta make it happen. (We said go out there and do some good remember). Which of course shouldn’t be a problem considering there’s like a bazillion ways to do it. Just a few good moves here or a couple of good choices there and viola', that routine run-of-the-mill dime-a-dozen day is suddenly lookin pretty damn good.

Oh, and unlike all those full-flavored not-so-good-for-ya’s we talked about in the opener, good days are extremely healthy and big time beneficial to your overall well being. So go ahead, feel free to overly indulge. No really, it’s “perfectly” all right, because when it comes to a good day there’s no such thing as too much of a good thing. See ya next time, till then, keeep it up.